This is going to sound a bit odd, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. I've taken Tuesday and Wednesday off from work (in addition to the Thursday and Friday holiday) and honestly have no idea what to do with that time. I continually forget that I'm so attached to structure, to lists, to "doing." I know that having time is something precious, something to appreciate--so that makes it even more frustrating that I feel unsettled when given time. It's as if no matter how much or little I have to do, I desire of state of having less to do--but when that state of "less" is achieved, it still does not suffice. So having to grocery shop and do laundry today feels burdensome in much the same way that sitting at my desk at work sometimes does.
Maybe it's just the transition from working life to time-off life, from sitting at a desk thinking about people's database questions, writing, or answering questions on the phone, to thinking about grocery lists, what's for dinner, laundry, knitting, reading, and all the other things that sneak into the cracks during daily life but now can come to the front of my mind. (And don't forget about finding a text for the Christmas card and sending Debbie's birthday present....). I always think that I'm going to lie around and read when I take time off and stay at home, but it never works out that way. It seems to be necessary to go somewhere else--where dishes do not need to be done, or where there are many other people to share the load--in order to really get that space and time in the mind.
It's starting to get dark now--grey and forboding, with a nip in the air after the day's surprising warm dampness. I can see door lights popping on across the street, illuminating the brick fronts of the houses. It's a comforting sight, as light often is in darkness.
Okay--there's the alarm for the laundry....more later!
M.
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